before anything, i wanted yall to know that i was featured by bostonprogress radio in their emerging api artists feature. check it out here.
furthermore, if’n you want to see the photos of the odd-yssey so far, visit my facebook.
i realized that i am hella hella horribly allergic to cats. furthermore, that it’s hard to enjoy the day when your lungs are fucked up because of cats and even MORE that taking more benadryl than is recommended is pretty much asking to be knocked out.
whoa.
but i needed this day, that wasn’t jampacked in activity, so that i could really soak it what had happened the night before. more importantly, i needed it to recover, because between my horrible allergies to the cats and the general work of it all, i was completely beat and getting sick.
getting sick on a trip like the one i’m taking is probably not the most intelligent thing i could possibly do. being on a bus getting from state to state, hopped up on the benadryl and the feeling of death would probably not be very good.
so a day hanging out with my buddy jb, going to a bookstore, doing my first zen buddhist medtiation, those were exactly what the doctors ordered.
for breakfast, we ate at Ledo’s Pizza… which wasn’t actually horrible. which is weird, considering i pretty much consider every non-new york pizza to be wacksauce of epic proportions. hell, i actively go find new york pizzas in different places to try their ny pizza out… because no matter how awful, it’s most likely going to be better than the rest of the pizza joints. but ledo’s wasn’t bad. it was most definitely different, this somewhat strange maryland food that was familiar but not quite. admittedly, ledo’s is a chain, which i don’t usually eat at… but it isn’t one of the massive, evil chains, but a local family one that is actually kinda nice.
extra thin crust, a slightly sweeter sauce and fucking huge portions, even by new york standards. not bad at all actually. but considering they’re pretty close to new york, i’m just the tiniest bit afraid that any pizza i get from now until i return to new york will be wack.
but whatever, today, i feel less sick. maybe some of that was all the rest i got. at least some of that had to be the claritin and the benadryl, maybe some of it was the extreme hot sauce amounts i put in my ledo’s pizza… but more than that, i feel like at least some of it is going to this zen buddhism class my buddy ran.
i’m not going to talk about it too much. there’s lots of information about buddhist meditation online. but i definitely do feel like it was imporrtant that i did it. it was necessary. this is a journey just as much about self-discovery as it is about food or about jiu jitsu or about sight seeing.
i need to start stripping down my pretensions and the bullshit in my self. come face to face with the inner and really acknowledge it. from there, i need to work with it, maybe open myself up in such a way that i can deal with all the hangups and pain that i have in my being. les face it folks, even though i’m an artist, i have a bad tendency to repress the negative emotions in myself. part of that is just because i am horribly sensitive.
and i know that’s at least potentially pretentious to say, but let me elaborate. some people are more sensitive than others. either because they are more in tune with their emotions or just because their emotions are just more intense. do i believe that i feel more strongly than others? yes. i am a man of intense passions and feeling. is that a good thing? probably not. it’s equivalent to someone saying they have the ability to eat a lot but without the addition of having a high metabolism. i feel… that’s what i do. and then i try to paint those feelings for all of you to read. and i love it. and i hate it. because the intense joy i can feel is something that i wish i could share with each and every one of you. the pain though… i wouldn’t want to wish on anyone else. not to mention the insecurity, the constantly questioning. but then every negative is balanced by the all consuming joy of being in love. god giveth and he taketh away. and then he kicks in the balls. c’est le vie.
so i guess it’s a balancing act. one i’m not sure i’m winning. but one that i need to be able to understand, which is why i’m so glad the baltimore zen center took me in and helped me with a little meditation, as well as sending me off with some tips and a book to try and open myself up. i neeed it. if you ever have the chance, you should roll through to the center and check it out.
finally… afterwards, me and jb, who actually lead the meditation, went into the temple hall, where i offered up my incense.
and then we sparred kali. god that was fun. i haven’t worked fighting sticks in a long time, so i was hella off and got me arse kicked by my buddy… but hey. it was hella fun.
see you all next time. one more day in murland and then im off to DC and then nashville. hope to see you somewhere along the way.
oh and ‘fore i leave… epic hilarity, especially considering i’m half canto.
(source: channelapa)
life is a bad dennis leary joke.
Tags: food and drink, ramblings