i have been horrible about updating this blog. i blame it on a combination of grad school starting up again, me still not completely processing my odd-yssey and a general writers’ block.
which is why i’m forcing myself to write this blog post though i’m not very motivated to do so. without the ability to write, i’m beginning to feel like there’s something missing in my life. maybe that’s unrelated to just the block, but then writing has always been in my life in such a fundamental way that if it’s not the absence of writing, i don’t know what it is.
to structure it more broadly, let’s look at my life, which, contrary to the somewhat emo tone of this piece, i am actually enjoying. i am, for the most part and as much as an ambitious romantic can be, content.
my life is centered around finishing this masters degree of mine and jiu jitsu. i spend 14 hours a week in class + a bunch of hours outside of class doing work for it. i spend 15 hours a week playing jiu jitsu, doing conditioning or being an assistant coach. i spend the rest of my time in between side projects and procrastination. i’m living off of the rather limited budget provided by my stipend and by my side projects. i’m dieting hard and am only cheating a day a week.
this has been good for me in a really core way… i’ve lost 20 lbs and just generally feel healthier. i feel like my jiu jitsu, which is always hella important to me, is getting back to where it was and is actually being improved upon. i’m actually setting myself up to compete at the NAGA in november.
but at the same time, i’m missing three things… or at least i feel that i am missing those things. my writing, my sleep and human connection.
i think the next few weeks will be an effort at finding those things and maybe making myself happy instead of just content.