oh nashville, you took my heart.

tenn state capitol

who's that handsome devil?

i don’t really have lots of time to do this, because i am only in atlanta for two nights and a day, and then off again to P’Cola to do some training and then watch ufc 100. i won’t really discuss my bus day or the crazy first night i had in atlanta right now, but i will later today. i will say that i am currently in the atlanta international hostel and safe and well, if a little sick just so yall know.

some nashville church that was gorgeous

i will say though, i fucking love nashville. it’s a great, great time. i had hella fun. how awesome is it to be surrounded by loud, live music and a plenitude of alcohol. i had such an amazing time just kicking it with all the dope folks at the hostel and being a tourist. i did a lot of sight seeing, just checking out the state capitol and the horribly unpolitcally correct tennessee state museum. i am not sure if my filipino folks would be insulted or complimented by their exhibit on the philipines war.

pinoy gangstas

see previous caption

i also did the frist art center, which is their big art museum… which was not very big. it was pretty nice though, and i did enjoy myself. and in all seriousness, between the architecture and the music and the surprisingly vibrant art scene, i almost want to say i could live here. not quite though.

i can honestly say this is one of the most beautiful buildings i have ever seen

it’s awesome being a traveler at a hostel, being surrounded by internationals that are all trying to do the same thing i am. there’s this feeling among travelers where we all know we’re only going to be here for the tiniest bit so friendship come fast and strong. and that’s awesome beyond belief.

traveler boys with local girls: what a nightmare

the folks i met in nashville were all really great folks, and we all managed to somehow get to know each other, have injokes and be a good crew within the span of a few days. from oli’s overtly subtle british humour to anthony’s snakiness, to becks good humoured tolerance of all the boys being boys, to ed’s reserved demeanor slowly opening up, to matt’s good ole boy charm mixed with modern sensibilities. obviously, this is only a quick glossing of all the wonderful, amicable folks i met… but it is indicative of how awesome it is to connect with people from canada and australia and britain and even fucking denmark. i

lulz, canadian's already drunk

there’s also that element in vietnamese culture, i feel, this friendliness and openness once you get past the intial awkwardness that comes from the fundamental fatalism that comes along with possibly not seeing someone the next day, for whatever reason. so to make the most of life, we may as well be as close as possible now. i know sure as hell that imma miss those folks.

bex done stole my heart

i SWEAR i didn't drink all those by myself

why does everyone but me always have cute accents?

don't trust danes...

i will briefly say that the country music hall of fame was absolutely awesome sauce. i went on wednesday and it was completely worth the fee. between all the music and artifacts and exhibits, i feel like i learned so much and still had hella fun. like really, just seeing elvis’ car and hank william’s guitar and johnny cash’s guitar… how awesome of a time is that?

johnny cash

erbody

frikkin HUGE

the king and i... too cheesy?

all mine

JOHNNY CASH'S GITAR!!!

good ole country boys

then coming home, we had anthony from australia make us an awesome meal of vegetable spaghetti and then afterwards, we went out… as we always did, pulling in other folks with us.

anthony with his creation... ed can't wait

we like our drink

bex gon' kick anthony's ass for that one

smile erbody!

'parently brits finding hugging awkward

great pic

brits drink so fucking much

ed is a sexy beast

brother i never had

as you can see… it was a great night.

i’m really sad to have said good bye to everyone. now i’m off to get breakfast in atlanta… i will update before i leave tonight for the second part of my atlanta day. but let me just say again, i would recommend going to nashville to pretty much anyone, especially to anyone over twenty one or who just loves music. it really is a great time.

imma miss that city.

life is like an abusive relationship, transcendently wonderful sometimes, abysmally awful others… and with a lot of petty annoyances in between.

furthermore, the twins can write. really well. they have a blog called mousybabe that i’ve only recently discovered but will be a regular reader of from now on. between their ability to bring observational and self-deprecating humour together and their penchant for taking really great pictures, they’re one of the better personal blogs i’ve seen. they also have a conversational tone that i like, but without bordering on the inane that i have a bad tendency to do. c’est le vie. and yes, i think i’m in love,

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so tonight was yet another sleepless night… or at least one that was full of teh undersleep. i hit 4 hours and woke up automatically and couldn’t fall asleep again to save my life. it’s getting epic, as i’ve tried everything from that ole loveable standby – whisky, to concoctions of a more chemical nature, like benadryl and sleeping pills.

nothing seems to work for more than a night. which is becoming a problem because i’m getting run down here folks.

school is kicking me arse, as it is meant to do. there are wayyy too many things to get done and too little time to do it, especially while trying to remain sane. but that’s the game, and if nothing else, i’ve always been a player.

i just wish i had more time for jits. haven’t played in too long and that’s taking its toll, both physically and spiritually. but again, sacrifices must be made.

which is what i want to talk about on some level, the idea of sacrifice and its relation to love.

my father told me that ain’t nothing in life free, nothing freely given except among family, that life is obligation. one must always be willing to sacrifice in order to fulfill one’s obligations – as a man, as soldier, as a student, as a son. furthermore, implicit in this is an understanding that all of this must come from love, that all sacrifice, at its heart is about love, be it for community, for country, for flag, for family or for lady love.

i have my issues with che guevara, quite a few actually. i don’t idealize or valorize him like so many young twenty something new yorkers do (knowingly or not), but the man did have a gift for words, so i’ll quote him here. i’ll quote a few others as well, because i’ve always been one obsessed with the idea of love and all that comes with it.

“At the risk of sounding ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by feelings of love.” – Che

““Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” – Neil Gaiman

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” – Mother Teresa

Three extraordinarily disparate sources, three different angles on the concept of love. And in my estimation, all of them completely right. love is that fundamental human force that allows us to be more than ourselves, that can build us to our greatest height and bring us to our knees and even lower.

love exists at the locus of almost every action and is the source of some humanity’s ability to renew its faith in itself. there are such moments of nobility and grace within the human creature, driven by this existential phenomenon we like to call love, that maybe, just maybe, it makes up for all the ugliness that is exists like a rot at all of our cores. and beautifully enough, one of the things that i feel is most noble about the human beast, its ability to willingly sacrifice itself and its interests for others is motivated by nothing else but love. or maybe i’m just a wild eyed idealist.

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taking care of some biz, i wanted to shout out my homegirl in michigan, stephanie nguyen, a dope person and a talented artist. she introduced me to this entire world of asian beauty blogs and networking that i will eventually end up writing something about. as is, i’m still too tripped out by the whole thing to completely process it.

as an artist, she works in crystal and metal, making jewelery including necklaces and earrings that are really gorgeous stuff. you should check her out, especially boyos looking for last minute valentine’s day presents. she’s also sponsoring me and i’ll soon be rockin’ her gear.

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finally, i just want to give yall a heads up that i will be changing up some of the poems soon, as i realized that a lot of these are old and not representative of my newer body of work.

oh and anyone who is interested in a kind of semi-critical discussion on hipsterism should go here.  i will be addressing that in a future blogpost, sooner or later. i agree with some of the points therein, disagree with many more, and personally see it in a much more hopeful manner than the author does. then again, i’m more than willing to admit i’m hipster scum. c’est le vie.

oh, and keep those ASIAN/AMERICAN WOMAN EXPERIENCES AND STORIES COMING.

peace and love.

life is a hundred loves, a hundred broken hearts and the songs we sing in between.

ps. i know i need a digi camera. if anyone has a lead as to a cheap but decent one, hit me up homies. oh and if anyone knows how to replace a laptop keyboard… cuz mine’s fucked and as a writer, it’s kicking me arse.